Chris’ Finals Recap, Pt. 3

Ukraine

Euro-kitsch at its most manic. Verka has a big 69 sewn into his coat. He dances in high heels much better than DQ did, incidentally. Really, this is competently performed and all that, but it’s just such an awful song. If I were from somewhere in Europe, maybe I’d see the appeal.

United Kingdom

This is so fucking stupid.

Romania

My goodness, it’s a lost Benny Hill skit! Is it really just three minutes? It feels as long as “In-a-Gadda-da-Vida.”

Bulgaria

This song is growing on me, I must say. Elitsa and Stoyan are doing it better than they did on Thursday, too. It’s a really intense, exciting performance. I hope they do well in the voting.

Turkey

Kenan sang this much better tonight than he did during the Semis. I hate how much I like this song. I have a good feeling that it’ll do well tonight.

Armenia

A dead tree covered in ribbons as a stage prop. What a bland song. Why can’t our feed kick out now?

Moldova

How did this make the cut during the Semis? Natalia isn’t doing herself any favors. She’s almost in tune throughout. Eurovision has had a strong show this year, so it’s unfortunate to end on these last two songs.