Jen’s Running Commentary (Part 2 of 2)

Jen’s commentary, based on notes, continued.

France

Wow, this seems pretty disrespectful, like they’re mocking other Eurovision countries. And, wait, is that in the opening riff a sample of the Belarus song? Sheesh. They come off like total assholes.


Latvia

Let’s bring it boys, the contest is ripe for the picking. Their performance has benefited from the extra rehearsal time. They sound much better than in the Semis.

All of them are holding white roses. Except the Italian. He gets the red rose. You know, like the flag.

At least I now have the answer that nagging question: what does it sound like when 6 opera singers sing Leo Sayer.

Dangerous. They sounded good.


Russia

Doesn’t pretend to be anything anything other than what it is – barely legal eye candy singing a dance confection. And they work it. I love it, and so does the audience.


Germany

It’s hard to follow Russia. But he’s a pro – sounds good, looks good (although maybe a tad too much like Jack Black for my liking), and has a 5 piece jazz combo complete with upright bass. There’s some sensitivity in the vocal – he knows exactly how to sing to a big crowd like this.

On the backdrop is only a giant ROGER CICERO in BIG ASS LIGHTS. That suggests to me he doesn’t think he’s got a shot at this and is only here for the exposure. Eh, so be it. He’s the best entry Germany’s had in years, and I dig it.


Serbia

I see we’re in the heavy artillery section of the draw. She’s got a great voice, and sings with great musicality. And, unlike Georgia, knows not to oversing. I’m very impressed by the amount of support she’s got on the really big notes.

Really good – I think she’s got it.


Ukraine

He’s dressed like a giant disco ball, with a communist star on his head. On his back is a 69, like a ballroom dancing competition number. The backup singers are dressed in silver lamé ’40s-GI-inspired outfits. To me, it really does remind me of WWII. And cartoon mice, like when they’re “making the dress for Cinderellee,” except in this case they’re mocking Germans. “La la lalalala la la…”

But, hey, the performance has good energy, and is well sung even though there is a lot of movement. This is the better performance compared with Denmark. Of course, it doesn’t change the fact the song goes nowhere.

I don’t get it.


United Kingdom

It’s rough placement for the UK to follow Ukraine, especially with this fluff. It’s like having a 5-year-aged blue cheese, followed immediately by mild cheddar.

They’re dressed like flight attendants, and clearly the song isn’t strong because they have tons of props. Utter theatrics.

Miserable. An embarrassment.

I guess they deserve points
1) for their commitment; and 2) for being in tune.

Bottom line: it’s Saved By The Bell comes to Eurovision. I’m so excited… so excited… so… scared.


Romania

Like Latvia, this act is 6 men. Except each one is singing in a different language. And, aw, it’s at Eurovision… like we should all come together. Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya.

They have better choreo than Latvia, but not better singing, and it’s not a better song.


Bulgaria

Sigh… 3 more left. Rock it, kids.

I like that the intensity of this song is driven by percussion. By drums, not by backup dancers or by singers trying too hard.

This builds nicely – it’s really good, they look relaxed and like they’re having fun. They did better than the Semis. They might place top 10 after all.


Turkey

Good placement for Turkey here, the last song of consequence. He too looks comfortable, better than the Semis. He’s also playing to the crowd – nice touch. I’m digging it.


Armenia

Someone TP’d his tree. Probably the Turks.

Who’s strangling the cat?


Moldova

Over singing in a big way. Sheesh, she’s pitchy, screechy.

Moldova could learn a lesson from Bulgaria.