Eurovision 2008 Superlatives

The 2008 Eurovision Song Contest seems to have been the last gasp of the properly jokey entries, at least in the Final. Some may lament how serious Eurovision has gotten, but we say, watch “Wolves of the Sea” and tell us that is something that’s missing from the Song Contest.

  • Best unintentional musical representation of the premise for The War of the Roses: Romania
  • Andy Abraham award for entry least deserving of its fate: United Kingdom
  • Act most in need of back-up singers: Albania
  • Dervish Award for tone-deaf vocals: Germany
  • Best casting choice for Elaine in the Armenian remake of Seinfeld: Armenia
  • Most Dadaist Eurovision entry ever: Bosnia and Herzegovina
  • Best use of silver lamé to accentuate chiseled biceps: Israel
  • Best reminder that Finland won with Lordi: Finland
  • This award goes out to a gang-bangin’ player who ain’t with us no more: 75 Cents, Croatia
  • Best tan: Poland
  • Most anthemic anthem: Iceland
  • Must not make “Deli” Turkey joke award: Turkey
  • Award for telling that hurricane who’s boss: Portugal
  • Best reason to walk the plank: Latvia
  • Best drag impersonation of Charlotte Perrelli: Sweden
  • Pushiest demand to celebrate good times: Denmark
  • Best costume change: Georgia
  • Best song that didn’t win Eurovision: Ukraine
  • Annual award for most successful theft of France’s thunder: The cameraman
  • Best recap of a Dan Brown novel: Azerbaijan
  • Perkiest call for abstinence: Greece
  • Best dance tutorial: Spain
  • Best attempt to not win Eurovision while not embarrassing themselves in the process: Serbia
  • The platinum medal for best strategic Plushy deployment: Russia
  • Worst lyric ever, not just in Eurovision history but in the history of all music: “Love can be hard sometimes/Yes, it can catch you off guard like bad crimes”, Norway
  • Most likely to get there, popular: Russia

Originally published 28 September 2015