Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Superlatives

The Eurovision Song Contest is over for 2011, so it’s time for Eurovision Lemurs to hand out our superlatives. In the spirit of fair play and all that, everyone’s a winner tonight.

  • Most pinchable cheeks: Paradise Oskar, Finland
  • Most SITO: Dino Merlin, Bosnia & Herzegovina
  • Worst attack by moths: A Friend In London’s Tim Schou’s shirt, Denmark
  • Best language change: Evelina Sašenko, Lithuania
  • Most delicious wearable plum tart: Kati Wolf, Hungary
  • Most Jedwardian performance: Jedward, Ireland
  • Most palpable sense of relief at the end of the song: Eric Saade, Sweden
  • Poorest understanding of Manhattan street names and landmarks: Getter Jaani, Estonia
  • Best save of a really awful song: Loukas Giorkas, Greece
  • Most learned rapper: Professor Stereo Mike, Greece
  • Most indulgent performance, Warsaw Pact edition: Alexey Vorobyov, Russia
  • Wettest squib: Amaury Vassili, France
  • Most splenderai! Splenderai! Splenderai!: Raphael Gualazzi, Italy
  • Best performance by an American actress: Claire Danes, Switzerland
  • Worst Graham Norton prediction: “This could be one of the dark horses in the competition” in regards to Switzerland
  • Most indulgent performance, NATO edition: Blue, United Kingdom
  • Most annoyed that Blue downplayed the “Oooh” in “I Can,” thus depriving him of being able to hand out the Story of Oooh award: this writer
  • Quite maddest performance: Zdob şi Zdub, Moldova
  • Best headwear: Zdob şi Zdub, Moldova
  • Best tribute to Woody Allen’s “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)”: Lena, Germany
  • Most annoyingly chipper performance: (TIE) Hotel FM, Romania & Lucía Pérez, Spain
  • Biggest voice: Nadine Beiler, Austria
  • MILFiest performer: Nikki, Azerbaijan
  • JLOiest performer: Nikki, Azerbaijan
  • Most likely to get there, popular: Azerbaijan, as it turns out
  • Best use of the staging that Azerbaijan should have used for Safura: Maja Keuc, Slovenia
  • Most creepily prescient lyrics: Sjónni’s Friends, Iceland
  • Best Ricky Gervais impersonator: Matti Matt from Sjónni’s Friends, Iceland
  • Best use of a gimmick to distract you from a mediocre song: Sand artist Kseniya Simonova, Ukraine
  • Song most likely to become a “Crystal Light” advertisement: “Angel” by Ukraine’s Queen of Soundtracks, Mika Newton
  • Most distracting LED graphics: Nina, Serbia
  • The Austin Powers Yeah Baby award for swankest performance: Nina, Serbia
  • Most likely to make the Mortal Kombat soundtrack: Eldrine, Georgia
  • Most interesting array of noses: Eldrine, Georgia