Belgium held its national final today, with pre-selected representative Iris performing two songs: “Safety Net” and “Would you?” Both are dreary, needy ballads, so it really didn’t make much difference which one was chosen. Ultimately, the public overwhelmingly went with “Would you?”:
First off: I’m biased against Iris because she has the kind of nasal, twee voice that makes my skin crawl. But “Would you” is made worse by her poor breathing technique, which means she squeaks a lot as she’s belting out that chorus. To top that off, she’s saddled with a totally forgettable tune that sounds like the third song to play over the closing credits of some cut-rate Sandra Bullock rom-com.
If I sound cranky, it’s because I just sat through two tedious, poorly written ballads. Where’s my drink?