Eurovision 2012 Superlatives

The Eurovision Song Contest is over for 2012, so it’s time for Eurovision Lemurs to hand out our annual superlatives. To make Tooji feel better, everyone’s a winner tonight.

  • Best use of the pyro Bulgaria ended up not needing for the final: United Kingdom
  • Best performance by an act you forgot about later: Hungary
  • Best way to order a chai at Starbucks: Albania (Thanks to eurovicious)
  • Best use of a Bedazzler: Lithuania
  • Best shout out to Alexis Carrington: Bosnia and Herzegovina
  • Most adorable grannies, oh my god they are so fucking CUTE, THEY BAKED COOKIES!!!!!: Russia
  • Best use of a Jonsi outside of Sigur Ros: Iceland
  • Best tribute to Nomi Malone: Cyprus
  • Best tribute to Jane Russell in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: France
  • The annual award for most successful theft of France’s thunder: Italy
  • The Eric Saade Award for most palpable sense of relief at the end of the song: Estonia
  • Worst birthday present: Tooji from Norway’s last place performance
  • Best continuation of a proud tradition of bombing at Eurovision: Norway
  • Best Hunger Games reference: Azerbaijan’s dress
  • Best musical representation of the premise for The Big Bang Theory: Romania
  • Best epaulets: Denmark
  • The Svetlana Loboda Award for least subtle sexual innuendo: Greece
  • Most likely to get there, popular: Sweden this time
  • Best Hammer dance: Sweden
  • Best 38 seconds of work: Sweden’s back-up dancer
  • The First Annual Can Bonomo Award for most bad-ass staging: Turkey
  • The Jóhanna Award for best performance by country that wants to do well without actually winning: Spain
  • Biggest Eurogasm: Spain
  • Best song the United Kingdom should have entered: Germany
  • Biggest hint to the BBC that they should reconsider how they pick their Eurovision entries: Germany for the past three years
  • Most adorable performer who isn’t a Russian granny: Germany
  • Largest, most expressive feet: Malta
  • Best scream: FYR Macedonia
  • Best tribute to Metropolis: Ireland
  • The Amaury Vassili Award for wettest squib: Ireland
  • Best performance by Eurovision royalty who really deserves a better fate: Serbia
  • The Other Svetlana Loboda Award for “more is more” staging: Ukraine
  • Best impression of the Squirrel Nut Zippers by a Colin Ferrell impersonator: Moldova