Kieran Rates the First Eurovision 2013 Semi-Final

We sat down today with Kieran and watched the run-through of this year’s first Eurovision Semi-Final to gather his thoughts. Remember: he is four.

We rated his reaction by his comments and by his dancing, although at a certain point, he kept dancing to every song and said he liked everything. But we could tell when he didn’t really like it. (By the way, we didn’t tape his smoking dance moves because he wasn’t wearing pants.)

1. Austria: Natália Kelly – “Shine

Did Kieran dance? Yes.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“I like it.”

2. Estonia: Birgit Õigemeel – “Et uus saaks alguse

Did Kieran dance? No.

Did Kieran say he liked it? No.

What did Kieran have to say?

“It’s boring and I don’t like it.”

3. Slovenia: Hannah Mancini – “Straight into love

Did Kieran dance? Yes.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“I think it’s called ‘Pfst.'” (He was beatboxing to imitate the sound of the drums.)

4. Croatia: Klapa s Mora – “Mizerja

Did Kieran dance? Yes.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“He has no hair!”

“I like this song.”

5. Denmark: Emmelie de Forest – “Only Teardrops

Did Kieran dance? Yes.

Did Kieran say he liked it? No.

What did Kieran have to say?

“Why is she laying down like that?”

“Why is she on the floor? She’s just sitting on the floor.”

We asked Kieran what he thought of the song and he yelled, “BAD!”

6. Russia: Dina Garipova – “What if

Did Kieran dance? Yes. “I only dance to good songs.”

Did Kieran say he liked it? No.

What did Kieran have to say?

“I don’t like her.”

7. Ukraine: Zlata Ognevich – “Gravity

Did Kieran dance? Yes.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“I’m dancing because I like this song.”

8. Netherlands: Anouk – “Birds

Did Kieran dance? Yes, the Fall Down dance. (He started to name his dances, and he named this before he heard the “birds falling down” lyric.)

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“Is this song called ‘Birds’? I WAS RIGHT!”

9. Montenegro: Who See – “Igranka

Did Kieran dance? Yes: “I’m doing a funky dance! It’s scary too. HOOO!”

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

He began to sing his version of the chorus.

10. Lithuania: Andrius Pojavis – “Something

Did Kieran dance? Yes.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes, but…

What did Kieran have to say?

He continued to sing the chorus to “Igranka” all throughout this song. And do the funky, scary dance.

11. Belarus: Alyona Lanskaya – “Solayoh

Did Kieran dance? Yes.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“There are four men and one woman.”

“This song is a little scary, but I still like it.”

12. Moldova: Aliona Moon – “O mie

Did Kieran dance? Yes, the Running Down dance.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“She looks funny with all those funny rings on.”

“I like her voice.”

13. Ireland: Ryan Dolan – “Only Love Survives

Did Kieran dance? Yes, the Walk Up dance.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

Does the heart hand gesture thing.

“That one’s good!”

14. Cyprus: Despina Olympiou – “An me thimase

Did Kieran dance? Yes, the Jump Up dance.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

(Reading the chyron) “This is called ‘Me and Tapas’!”

“I like her voice.”

15. Belgium: Roberto Bellarosa – “Love kills

Did Kieran dance? Yes, the Down-Up Spin Around Dance.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“I like this one!”

16. Serbia: Moje 3 – “Ljubav je svuda

Did Kieran dance? Yes, the Roll Around Dance, which consisted of him rolling around on the floor.

Did Kieran say he liked it? Yes.

What did Kieran have to say?

“This is one is a little  bit scary. Do you know why? I know why! She has those red things on her head!”

THE VERDICT: Kieran’s favorite – “Igranka.” He’s still singing his version of the chorus as we write this.