Things I Learned By Reading the Bios of the 2015 Eurovision Participants

A new year, a new contest, and we have combed through the bios of this year’s Eurovision entrants so you don’t have to. I tell ye thar be gold in them hills. Here’s what we learned.

  • Geneology’s (Armenia) pre-stage ritual is to “hold hands and say random Armenian words.”  Then they go out and sing random Armenian melodies.
  • Guy Sebastian (Australia) is “obsessed with water.” We are too, it’s our favorite Bulgarian entry! Also, he gets pumped up for a performance by watching the fight scene from Rocky IV. Eye of the tiger, baby.
  • Uzari and Maimuna’s (Belarus) common bond is their shared love of the Lord of the Rings. Guess that explains the video.
  • Loïc Nottet (Belgium) hates mosquitos.
  • Elnur (Azerbaijan) has experimented “with different music styles such as classic, jazz and pop.” And in the 2008 contest he sang all three styles at once.
  • John Karayiannis (Cyprus) hails from Limassol, and explains that “when he was a kid he’d listen to Eminem & Linkin Park, and even Metallica.” Yes, but did he listen to Maxïmo Park?
  • The mission of Anti-Social Media (Denmark) “is to revive the simple and happy spirits of bands such as The Beatles.” We’ve noticed no other band in Denmark is doing that. It seems like they’re addressing a need.
  • Molly Sterling (Ireland) has a donkey at home who is 50 years old. His name is Mick. Mick the Donkey.
  • Elina Born (Estonia) is a “surprisingly skillful rapper.” There needs to be a “Goodbye to Yesterday” remix that displays this surprising skill.
  • If there was any doubt that Nina Sublatti (Georgia) used to model, take a look at her totally fierce press photos.
  • Maria Elena (Greece) says of her song “I co-wrote it in a period of my life that was very intense emotionally and I think the melody reflects how I felt at the time.” Oh man, that was one messed up relationship.
  • According to Boggie (Hungary), High quality pop = pop + jazz + French chanson + country + folk + classical. Words of wisdom you can take to the bank.
  • I am shocked, SHOCKED to learn that María Ólafsdóttir (Iceland) played Louisa Von Trapp in the Sound of Music and regards the movie as “one of her all-time favourites.”
  • Il Volo (Italy) appeared on the final episode of HBO’s Entourage as the Singing Aquamen.
  • Polina Gagarina (Russia) is a mom of a 7-year old, Andrei. She lost 30kg after giving birth.
  • Anita Simoncini & Michele Perniola (San Marino) are “the youngest duet in the history of Eurovision Song Contest. They are 32 years old combined!” Meanwhile, Ralph Siegel, their song’s composer, entered his first Eurovision song 39 years ago.
  • Mick the Donkey, you guys. Mick the Donkey.
  • Mélanie René (Switzerland) is originally from Mauritius. She discovered that one of her ancestors was an Indian princess who married a French captain.
  • Bojana Stamenov (Serbia) loves to travel and “in the future would like to visit France because of art and food, Ireland because of wonderful landscapes and beer, America because of blues, cowgirls, bikers, Chicago, musicals, Las Vegas…”  I hope she realizes all those things are not in one place. Or maybe she really just wants to go to Vegas. She also knits.
  • In their bio, Maraaya (Slovenia) answer the question “What’s with the headphones?” They explain, “Marjetka started to use her studio headphones on stage since she wanted to evoke the same emotions she felt in the studio while recording. The headphones became their trademark.” Actually, that’s helpful information, but the real question on our minds is “what’s with the wedding dress?” That remains unanswered.
  • Edurne (Spain) informs us that she won the music impersonation show Your Face Sounds Familiar (Tu Cara Me Suena). Further research revealed that on the show Edurne imitated Alicia Keys, Axl Rose(!), Annie Lennox, Pink, Shakira, Lady Gaga, Shania Twain, Mika, Christina Aguilera, Evanescence, and the Cranberries, among others. Her best performance? Leona Lewis. She also did a mean Beyoncé.
  • As a teenager Måns Zelmerlöw (Sweden) “noticed that older girls appreciated his vocal ability.” Måns, a comment like that reveals more than may have been intended.
  • Electro Velvet (United Kingdom) would like you to know that their song is a “real ear worm.” I’m glad they mentioned that, because I wouldn’t have been able to figure that out just by listening to it.