The 2019 Eurovision That Almost Was: Semifinal One

We had some serious questions at the end of this year’s first Semifinal: Did anyone want to qualify? Would MARUV been any better if Ukraine hadn’t pulled out? And were there better songs everyone could have sent?

We will never know the answers those first two questions, but we can imagine the answer to the third one by looking back at the also-rans from the national final season. We are also looking at the Big Six entries who voted in Semifinal One since Eurovision shows clips of their jury performances during the interval while the EBU rushes to declare a valid result without necessarily paying attention to which jurors clearly screwed up their ballots.

Cyprus: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Montenegro: Ivana Popović-Martinović – “Nevinost

“Nevinost” is a standard issue ballad from the Balkan peninsula. It doesn’t have as much personality as Ivana does, so we’d love to see her come back with a song that has a bit more pizzazz.

Finland: Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman – “Superman

To be honest, there wasn’t a lot of difference between the three songs on offer at UMK 2019. If you can remember how “Look Away” sounded, you can guess how “Superman” sounded.

Poland: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Slovenia: Raiven – “Kaos” 

We are still irrationally angry about this. Let’s just move on.

Czech Republic: Jakub Ondra – “Space Sushi

If this hadn’t finished second in the Czech Republic’s voting, we’d be considering it for our WTF posts. It’s an odd little Mrazy number with a nonsensical chorus that we think is about believing in yourself. It’s kind of mesmerizing in its goofiness.

Hungary: Acoustic Planet – “Nyári zápor

As usual, Hungary hasn’t released the final A Dal televote tallies. However, Acoustic Planet finished second with the jury, so we’ll go with them. You can probably figure out how they sound by the name of their band. It’s the type of bland pop song that you’d expect to hear on the soundtrack to a mid-90s dramedy about someone visiting their parents for the first time in a decade. Specifically the scene where they drive up to the family home just after a picturesque New England snowfall.

Belarus: BLGN & Mirex  – “Champion

What happens when you cross JOWST with ZIBBZ? You get BLGN & Mirex, and it’s not too shabby! Maybe it’s a bit mealy in execution, but Mirex is a pretty good vocalist and has a pretty good stage presence. It’s easy to understand why “Champion” lost to “Like it,” but we still enjoyed it.

Serbia: Dženan Lončarević – “Nema suza

“Nema suza” is a maudlin ballad with a very mawkish anti-war staging. Not to belittle the message, but it was like getting hit on the head with a hammer made of yarn.

Belgium: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Georgia: Liza Kalandadze – “Sevdisperi zgva

Liza Kalandadze is a striking, charismatic vocalist who was paired up with a twee, ethereal ballad. It’s not necessarily a bad combination, but we can’t imagine “Sevdisperi zgva” would have changed Georgia’s fortunes this year.

Australia: Electric Fields – “2000 and Whatever

Die hard Eurovision fans tuning into Australia’s first national final had a definite favorite going into the show. Electric Fields are a dance-pop duo lead by an absolute superstar of a vocalist in Zaachariaha Fielding. “2000 and Whatever” is an anthemic dance song with a unique vocal sound and it’s the perfect song to get you fired up before you head off to work or the gym.

As much as we would have loved for Electric Fields to represent Australia, we were also realistic about their chances. They came out and did a concert staging for “2000 and Whatever.” Then Kate Miller-Heidke did a Eurovision staging for “Zero Gravity.” She had the full package and she was the overwhelming choice to represent Australia. But we’re grateful we had the chance to be introduced to Electric Fields and you should totally buy their EP Inma.

Iceland: Friðrik Ómar – “Hvað ef ég get ekki elskað?

Iceland had been struggling to qualify for the Grand Final for the past few years because they usually sent the type of song Friðrik was proffering. Better to take the big risk than to play it safe yet again.

Estonia: Uku Suviste – “Pretty Little Liar

In our view, this year’s Eesti Laul final this year was lackluster. “Pretty Little Liar” is about as memorable musically as “Storm,” but without the cheesy special effects or Stig Rasta’s name in the credits.

Portugal: NBC – “Igual a Ti

“Igual a Ti” sounds like the theme song from a modern western, and NBC sells it for all it is worth. It’s pretty good, but the whole package obviously lacked the utter uniqueness of Conan Osíris and “Telemóveis.”

Greece: Internal selection. Not applicable.

San Marino: Internal selection. Not applicable.

Spain: Maria – “Muerdeme

Rumor on Twitter was that Maria didn’t really want to go to Tel Aviv. If that’s true, it kind of explains her indifferent performance. It’s like she was still at dress rehearsal. Also, the staging could have benefited from the old Coco Chanel adage of removing one thing. We’re thinking of the malt shop counter, which Ireland later picked up at a Madrid thrift store. It’s such a bummer because “Muerdeme” is a really fun song.

France: Seemone – “Tous Les Deux

Seemone’s appearance at this year’s Destination Eurovision marked the arrival of a potential major talent in French music. Imagine Adele as a  chanson singer and you can begin to get a sense of what she brought. Annoyingly, the Destination Eurovision YouTube channel has been stripped of its performance videos, but we figure it’s only a matter of time before we see Seemone representing France at Eurovision.

Israel: Ketreyah – Song internally selected.

Ketreyah is an Ethiopian-Israeli singer who was solidly the second place finisher in Israel’s Next Star for Eurovision competition. She’s a likable enough performer, but let’s be honest: regardless of his ultimate fate at Eurovision, Kobi Marimi was kind of the perfect person to represent Israel on home soil.