This sounds exactly like “Oops! I Did It Again.” Which is intentional. It’s another “I am totally going win Eurovision” song. It pales in comparison to the Lithuania song, but it does have the lyrics “Congratulations, I have arrived” and “You’ve been waiting forever for me to save you.” The singer is actively annoying, though. And in the middle, she calls God to tell him she’s saving the world. The crowd is booing her pretty hard, and why not?
You guessed it: more generic Eastern Mediterranean pop. Actually, that’s not fair. This is a really good song. The singer’s excellent. (And in tune, which has not often been the case tonight.) Sounds like the crowd loves him too: lots of applause at the end of his number.
Wow, another ABBA-esque beginning. And another collection of ’80s-influenced outfits. R.U.F.F.U.S. was right: the ’80s are coming back. This is awful, but I love Estonia, so I’m giving it a pass. The singer has the old WCW Championship belt on for some reason. I’m waiting for Goldberg’s music to start. Nope, still a crappy ABBA rip-off. In fact, Estonia out-ABBAed Sweden this year. That ain’t right, but since it’s Estonia, I don’t want to be right.
[NOTE: The singer is from Sweden, but she’s performing for Estonia. I’ve removed one exclamation point from the headline to this post as punishment.]
Well, of COURSE, Sweden’s entry sounds like ABBA. It ALWAYS sounds like ABBA. The singer has a long flowing train on her coat and the strongest jawline I’ve seen tonight. The song sucks, but it rhymes “invincible” with “insatiable,” so it’s got that going for it.
For some reason, the Portuguese entry decided to go with an ABBA-sounding song. Usually only the Swedes do that. Imagine the Spice Girls singing ABBA in Portuguese (except for the chorus). This is ridiculously lame. And it makes Katrina and the Waves sound like Slayer.
Six guys in suits singing an ’80s-synth pop song about how they are the winners of the Eurovision, so “vote for the winners.” This would be funnier if they hadn’t followed the Finnish entry. I wonder if this type of sarcastic cynicism is a part of Lithuania’s national character. Because that would be awesome.
Performers playing their own instruments. Another Shakira rip-off song, with a weird “Lion King”-type African chanting in the middle.
The Finnish Gwar (seriously) singing “Hard Rock Hallelujah.” Key quote: “It’s the Arockalypse.” Finland’s not even trying, but the song is really awesome.
Holy shit, the singer just sprouted bat wings from his costume. Wow. The crowd loves it, but I pity who comes next!
*NSYNC-sounding beginning, except with accordions. The singer is trying to sound like Shakira. I’m just going to leave it as a given that the dancing is bad. I’ll let you know when it’s any good. They’re jump-roping, though, so that’s something. Prototypical upbeat Eurovision number. Not memorable, as adorable as the singer is.