Cosmos is an a cappella group. Unlike the other numbers so far (and indeed, likely for the rest of the night),† they’re clearly singing live. All the signs of good a cappella are here: tight harmonies, smooth beat boxing, lame choreography, a constipated-sounding tenor singer. Unlike most a cappella groups, Cosmos has a small metal puppet. The puppet is so lame, I stopped listening to the song and tried to figure out why they needed the prop.
† Actually, one of the rules of Eurovision is that you have to sing live. Obviously I didn’t know this at the time.
Israel isn’t in Europe, but gets to compete because, come on, who doesn’t love Israeli pop? The song is a generic “Wind Beneath My Winds”-type ballad, with Hebrew and English lyrics. Eddie Butler is a good singer, but the song is trite. Also, is it me or is it weird for Israel’s song to have a gospel breakdown near the end? Decent crowd response, though.
I should mention that between songs, they’re showing little travelogues for Greece with better music that most of what you’ll hear tonight.
Anyway, Moldova. As I said during the semis, take it as a given that the dancing is bad. The song has a slow reggae beat with a bit of an R&B orchestration. The rapper has been on stage the whole time, but suddenly came in to do his solo riding on a Razr scooter. Competent, but dull.
This sounds like third-rate Andrew Lloyd Webber mixed with a Coca-Cola jingle. It’s a call for peace and understanding. Damned neutral countries.
Helena, the singer who won Eurovision last year, is performing her winning song, “My Number One.” It’s like Anastasia singing a Britney Spears rip-off written by an Eastern Mediterranean songwriter. Must have been a weak year in 2005.
Feel the rhythm, y’all, it’s Eurovision time! The crowd goes wild as the opening number kicks in. As the 2004 Summer Olympics proved, no one does opening numbers like the Greeks. The song is awful, with lyrics like “Praise the man who raised his voice” and “Praise the resonating winds,” but it’s still better than the song from the Netherlands.
Tonight’s hosts are floating to the stage from across the arena on wires right now. The female host, Maria Menounos, is an American who speaks fluent Greek, while the male host, Sakis Rouvasis, is an actual Greek. He once came in third at Eurovision.
Those who had the free pass to the final (the numbers refer to the spot each entry will perform in on Saturday):
1. Switzerland (six4one: “If We All Give a Little”)
2. Moldova (Arsenium and Natalia Gordienko: “Loca”)
3. Israel (Eddie Butler: “Together We Are One”)
4. Latvia (Cosmos: “I Hear Your Heart”)
5. Norway (Christine Guldbrandsen: “Alvedansen”)
6. Spain (Las Ketchup: “Bloody Mary”)
7. Malta (Fabrizio Faniello: “I Do”)
8. Germany (Texas Lightning: “No No Never” – It’s a country tune. From Germany. I blame Stefan Raab.)
9. Denmark (Sidsel Ben Semmane: “Twist of Love”)
12. Romania (Mihai Traistariu: “Tornero”)
15. United Kingdom (Daz Sampson: “Teenage Life”)
16. Greece (Anna Vissi: “Everything”)
19. France (Virginie Pouchain: “Il Était Temps”)
20. Croatia (Severina: “Moja Štikla”)
13. Bosnia and Herzegovina (Awesome!)
14. Lithuania (Some booing over than choice)
17. Finland (YES!!!!)
21. Ireland (The country with the most wins, by the way)
23. Turkey (Sweet!)
For an explaination as to what’s going on here, read these articles from Slate:
This sounds exactly like “Oops! I Did It Again.” Which is intentional. It’s another “I am totally going win Eurovision” song. It pales in comparison to the Lithuania song, but it does have the lyrics “Congratulations, I have arrived” and “You’ve been waiting forever for me to save you.” The singer is actively annoying, though. And in the middle, she calls God to tell him she’s saving the world. The crowd is booing her pretty hard, and why not?